The Ignorant Bill of Rights

Hey guys, you know what I'm doing when I'm not cruising in the Trans Am? I'm being ignorant. Here's a few guidelines for you to live by if you want to be like me.

Damn right it's OK, I've got a Trans Am.

1. The right of the people to use the "failure" of a government program to assume that every government program will inevitably fail shall not be infringed.

2. The right of the people to ignore the success of social programs, including but not limited to, the military, the post office, public education, roads and transportation, fire departments, and police protection shall not be infringed; furthermore, the right to describe any government programs you do not like as "socialist" is guaranteed.

3. The right to use one's knowledge obtained from the PUBLIC EDUCATION SYSTEM to fight socialism with arbitrary buzz words and meaningless talking points absorbed from FOX news or talk radio shall not be infringed.

4. The right of the people to use any anecdotal evidence, true or untrue, to further back up the entirety of one's beliefs or denials shall not be infringed; including but not limited to, the denial of fundamental scientific principals such as photosynthesis to reinforce one's personal denial of global warming.

5. The right of the people defend tooth and nail the same insurance companies that deny procedures to cut costs and increase bonuses shall never be infringed.

6. The right to ignore or purposely forget massive breaches of the First and Fourth amendments under a republican administration shall not be infringed. Furthermore, in true irony, one must also describe a progressive administration with terms such as dictator, regime, communist, socialist, death squad ect. Also, comparisons to Hitler are encouraged.

7. The right to forget that bailouts started from a Republican administration, while criticizing bailouts from a Democratic administration shall not be infringed.

8. The right of the people to understand that being a fiscal conservative only applies to taking away programs intended to help the American public shall never be infringed. Furthermore, the right mindlessly support massive amounts of spending on wars in countries that the 9/11 attackers were not from is also guaranteed.

9. The right to understand that the first amendment only covers unoffensive speech shall not be infringed.

10. The right of the people to remain ignorant, bliss and fat is God-given.